New Caregiver Ways 2018 - 3 of 3

#3 ​Admit You Can’t Do It All Yourself

​​Incorporating the practice of "recharge" and "rest" into each day  ​by... asking for "hh--", "hhh-", "help" is  both powerful and life-giving, regardless of whether you get the support you need the first few times you ask.  (There's a bible verse that reads "And let us not grow weary of doing good..." I cling to these words of truth most days to maintain my sanity.) For many of us the "H-word" is like saying a dirty four letter word, but as care-leaders for our loved ones we've got to have support with our efforts.  A great leader is one who serves the people around them, but also one who strategically delegates = knows how to ask for help.  Trying to get help with supporting your loved one often feels uncomfortable and maybe even makes you feel guilty (Didn't we already discuss guilt in our last blog?).

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Sometimes it’s tough to find the help you need. But many times, there are people who sincerely offer to help or local services you could use…but you turn them down out of habit.  Put together a caregiving support team of family, friends, and/or local resources. Why? Because getting help with caregiving can be more of an emotional decision, but at the end of the day it needs to be a practical and rational decision to preserve all - the aging loved one, the primary caregiver and the support team around them.

​The Weisman family has incorporated some successful strategies into their support of their aging loved ones by setting up routine times when the, now adult grandkids, grand neices and nephews were paid to spend time with grandpa as a 'companion' and just hang out for several hours each week.  

This gave grandma scheduled opportunities to get out and run errands, participate in a church biblestudy,  meet up with a friend for lunch, or piddlepaddle around the house "off-duty". ​ Now that grandpa has passed and grandma is slowly showing signs of decline, the Weisman Care Partner Family Team Extraordinaire now supports grandma with the companion support.

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It's time to get creative with the obstacles that appear as roadblocks to getting caregiving help. Most often, those are the primary caregivers denial that they need help, unhelpful family, or financial issues.  

• ​Get someone to sit with your older adult while you go out (or take a nap) – ask family, friends, volunteers from local service or religious organizations, or use local respite care programs
• Get help or relax your standards for time-consuming chores like cleaning or cooking
• Hire an in-home caregiver for a few hours each week
• Convince family members to take over on a regular basis
• Enroll your older adult in an adult day program
• Ask family or friends to help with your older adult – hands-on care, providing companionship, managing finances, doing research, running errands, doing chores, etc...
• Hire a  Next Step Senior Care Inc Care Manager to help solve the tough care challenges of getting the right resources in place that brings peace of mind for everyone involved

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One of the great marriage lessons that I've learned in the last two and a half years as a married woman is that "Just because my way is the right-way, doesn't mean we have to do things my way."  As a family caregiver learn to focus on the majors, keeping yourself sane so that you can keep your loved one safe.

​"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." Galatians 6:9

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