![]() Spending time with people that are perceived as different than us can be difficult. We oftentimes feel as if we have nothing in common with them and so we feel awkward and uncomfortable; we don’t want to waste our time and energies being there. Throughout the holiday season as you spend time with older family and friends, be prepared for the unexpected in regard to behavior and interactions based on how life and age affect us. It’s ALWAYS hard for us to be faced with seeing and interacting with decline in our loved ones. Our responses to the decline in our loved ones greatly impacts the way our children interact with them also. It’s our job to help them have a POSITIVE perception of aging, and of their elders. Our kids will mirror how we respond. This is an excellent opportunity to set the standard for their behavior with the elderly (they too will one day become elderly - as unimaginable as that may seem). This is crucial as these little children will be the ones responding to us when we are elderly (yes, you too will one day grow old)! Older adults need the life/livelihood of kids and teens just as the lives of youngsters are enhanced by interactions with their seniors. Help them enjoy these holiday visits by preempting some of the discomfort that they may feel. ![]() Prepare Them
Humanize Them
Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been. Mark Twain
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![]() Dealing with cognitive impairment can bring out many strong emotions. As the disease progresses, caregiving issues can often ignite or magnify family conflicts. These strategies can help families cope with the situation together. Tips for Families Listen to each family member with respect
Discuss caregiving responsibilities
![]() Continue to talk
![]() Seek outside help If tensions and disagreements are ongoing, you may want to seek help from a trusted third party, such as a spiritual leader, mediator or counselor. Sometimes, an outside perspective can help everyone take a step back and work through the difficult issues. To schedule a Family Meeting or to get professional resource referrals, contact Next Step Senior Care Inc at [email protected], 949-573-8504. The content on this page is taken from https://www.alz.org/care/alzheimers-dementia-family-conflicts.asp
![]() "Look at all the sugar in these cereals," the shrunken, 85-year old man said aloud at my local CVS drugstore. As he reached for the Cheerios off the shelf, our eyes met. "I'm down to one teaspoon in my coffee, instead of three. Heck, during WWII I was happy if the coffee was even hot." His eyes welled with tears. "I never used to cry, but I seem to cry all the time now," said the man I'd soon learn was called Frank. "That's good," I replied with a big smile, "it means you're normal and human." Frank returned the smile as he started to tell me more about his buddies in the service. I glanced at the milk I had just put into my cart, and thought about how much more needed to get done during this busy holiday season. When I looked up at Frank, our eyes connected once more, and my heart made a decision to be in the moment and enjoy the gift of conversation. Together in Aisle 9, I listened as he talked about his wartime experience, and the largest land battle ever fought by our country -- the Battle of the Bulge. "Do you know that there were over 70,000 American casualties during that battle alone?" "Yes, I do because my Dad was captured in that Battle, and became a Prisoner of War in Stalag 11B." Frank's eyes were alert when I shared the story of how Dad's frozen feet were saved thanks to the friendship he developed with Peter, the cook's 8-year-old son, during his brief hospital stay. The boy, who wanted to learn English, was drawn to my Dad's warmth, smile and playful nature. As a thank you for a full day of lessons, Peter brought Dad a bottle of schnapps the night before the German doctors were going to amputate his feet. Dad drank the liquor, massaged his feet all night through the intense pain and got enough circulation going to prevent the operation. Frank chuckled when I shared how Dad ended up playing professional football for the Detroit Lions and Philadelphia Eagles with those same feet! Our conversation went back and forth, and I lost all track of time. Eventually, it came to a natural close. Frank put out his hand, and warmly said, "Thank you for taking the time to talk with me." "It was my pleasure," I said, "but a handshake won't do. I want a big holiday hug!" As I held this sweet, dear man in my arms, I could feel his body shake as he can no longer hold back tears. As I took my warm milk to the check-out counter, I reflected on the incredible gift of perspective Frank had just given me. Who cared what didn't get done today?! I had the freedom and privilege to sleep in a warm bed tonight and enjoy a hot cup of coffee tomorrow. Plus, Frank reminded me of the one gift that's difficult to find, yet never requires wrapping- the gift of time. May you choose to give this incredible gift to those you love - including you. Reprinted with permission by Colette Carlson http://colettecarlson.com/must-give-gift-season/
![]() Now that you’re paying attention and looking for subtle and not-so-subtle changes in your aging loved one, you may be wondering, what’s “normal” and what’s not? How do you know the difference between typical “senior moments”, or mild cognitive impairment (MCI), and the early stages of dementia? Mild cognitive impairment (MCI) is defined by deficits in memory that do not significantly impact daily functioning. Memory problems may be minimal to mild and hardly noticeable to the individual. Writing reminders and taking notes allow a person to compensate for memory difficulties. To the untrained eye, the signs are not obvious, especially because people with good coping skills hide their frailties well.
Subtle Change in Short-Term Memory Your elderly relative may be able to remember years past, but not what they had for breakfast. Short-term memory loss includes forgetting where they left something, struggling to remember why they went into a particular room, or forgetting what they were supposed to do on any given day. Difficulty Finding the Right Words Struggling to communicate thoughts the way you want to, is beyond not being able to recollect a certain word. This may mean that a person can’t seem to explain things. They may reach for the right words, but just can’t seem to grasp them, and the words don’t “come to them” as they often do for others. ![]() Confusion Someone in the early stages of dementia may often show signs of confusion. When memory, thinking, or judgment lapses, confusion arises as your loved one can no longer remember faces, find the right words, or interact with people normally. Confusion can also be brought on by dehydration, urinary tract infections or drug interactions. Difficulty Following Storylines Just as finding and using the right words becomes difficult, people with dementia also sometimes forget the meanings of words they hear. Struggling to follow along with conversations or TV programs is a classic early warning sign. A Failing Sense of Direction Sense of direction and spatial orientation is a common function of thinking that starts to deteriorate with the onset of dementia. This can mean not recognizing once-familiar landmarks and forgetting regularly used directions. It also becomes more difficult to follow series of directions and step-by-step instructions. Being Repetitive You might notice your elderly parent or loved one repeat daily tasks like shaving or collecting items obsessively. They also may repeat the same questions in a conversation after you’ve already answered them. Struggling to Adapt to Change For someone in the early stages of dementia, the experience is frightening. Suddenly they can’t remember people they know or follow what others are saying. They can’t remember why they went to the store and get lost on the way home. Because of this, they might crave routine and not want to try new things. Schedule a Family Meeting
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