Spending time with people that are perceived as different than us can be difficult. We oftentimes feel as if we have nothing in common with them and so we feel awkward and uncomfortable; we don’t want to waste our time and energies being there. Throughout the holiday season as you spend time with older family and friends, be prepared for the unexpected in regard to behavior and interactions based on how life and age affect us. It’s ALWAYS hard for us to be faced with seeing and interacting with decline in our loved ones. Our responses to the decline in our loved ones greatly impacts the way our children interact with them also. It’s our job to help them have a POSITIVE perception of aging, and of their elders. Our kids will mirror how we respond. This is an excellent opportunity to set the standard for their behavior with the elderly (they too will one day become elderly - as unimaginable as that may seem). This is crucial as these little children will be the ones responding to us when we are elderly (yes, you too will one day grow old)! Older adults need the life/livelihood of kids and teens just as the lives of youngsters are enhanced by interactions with their seniors. Help them enjoy these holiday visits by preempting some of the discomfort that they may feel. Prepare Them
Humanize Them
Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been. Mark Twain
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Dealing with cognitive impairment can bring out many strong emotions. As the disease progresses, caregiving issues can often ignite or magnify family conflicts. These strategies can help families cope with the situation together. Tips for Families Listen to each family member with respect
Discuss caregiving responsibilities
Continue to talk
Seek outside help If tensions and disagreements are ongoing, you may want to seek help from a trusted third party, such as a spiritual leader, mediator or counselor. Sometimes, an outside perspective can help everyone take a step back and work through the difficult issues. To schedule a Family Meeting or to get professional resource referrals, contact Next Step Senior Care Inc at info@nextstepsco.com, 949-573-8504. The content on this page is taken from https://www.alz.org/care/alzheimers-dementia-family-conflicts.asp
...the HOLIDAYS. A word that stirs up various emotions about family, food, and fun. Spending time with family can be both joyous and heart-wrenching. It’s often because we position ourselves to be “schooled” in some way, shape or form. It’s called the School of Life and the class is usually titled ‘How You Have Grown (or Not) from the Last Encounter with Family.’ Regardless of the interactions, how are you going to be the best version of you that allows for maintaining good boundaries, but allows for you to show your care and support for each of the family and friends that you are gifted to spend time with. I love the lyrics from the Michael Jackson song “Man In The Mirror”, ‘If you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and then make a change.’ May you appreciate and release thanksgiving for the friends and family you have around you at this season. Make the choice to move into this holiday season with ‘Eyes Wide Open’. I encourage you to take the time to be the silent observer and check out what’s going on around you with your family and friends. There will be a plethora of little ways you can make your world, and someone else’s, a better place. Time is a gift that you can give to both yourself and to another person, your undivided attention. Take a few moments to engage in conversation to listen, support and encourage someone around you. (Note, I did not say enslave yourself to someone for a 45 minute monologue of their woes. Gracefully extract yourself after (10 minutes) and let them know you appreciated getting a chance to connect with them.) Give yourself the gift of time to sit, breathe deeply, nap, play in a way that brings you refreshment. As the relatives come out, choose awareness and assess how each person has changed from the last time you were with them… Be willing to ask yourself the harder questions: How is Aunt Sally is doing? What about my own parents; How are MY PARENTS doing? Dad’s been slowing down lately, do I really want to address his aging issues? If I don’t am I hiding my head in the sand and choosing to be in denial of the class we all have to take in the School of Life that most of us hate? Aging is inevitable and so is change? This season, don’t approach the holidays with your eyes wide shut. Family get-togethers are the ideal opportunity to open your eyes, your heart, and your mind to the changes in the abilities of your senior relatives. They need you to see what they can’t so that they can walk through life’s changes maintaining a feeling of safety, support and peace of mind. Click here to download our Checklist to Assess Daily Living Changes and move into the holidays with your ‘Eyes Wide Open’.
Dotty had dementia. Her words of wisdom apply to all styles of communication but are especially helpful when speaking to a person with dementia. Try these tips to improve your relationships. 9. Sometimes you talk to me like I am a child or an idiot. How would you like it if I did that to you? Go to your room and think about this. Don't come back and tell me you are sorry, I won't know what you are talking about. Just stop doing it and we will get along very well, and probably better than you think. Dotty went to Heaven on May 25, 2012.
We found her tips at the Alzheimer’s Reading Room http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/ Dotty had dementia. Her words of wisdom apply to all styles of communication but are especially helpful when speaking to a person with dementia. Try these tips to improve your relationships. 8. My attention span and ability to pay attention are not as good as they once were, please make eye contact with me before you start talking. A nice smile always gets my attention. Did I mention that before? Dotty went to Heaven on May 25, 2012.
We found her tips at the Alzheimer’s Reading Room http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/ Dotty had dementia. Her words of wisdom apply to all styles of communication but are especially helpful when speaking to a person with dementia. Try these tips to improve your relationships. 7. Make sure you have my attention before you start blabbering away. What is going to happen if you start blabbering away and you don't have my attention, or confuse me? I am going to say No - count on it. Dotty went to Heaven on May 25, 2012.
We found her tips at the Alzheimer’s Reading Room http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/ Dotty had dementia. Her words of wisdom apply to all styles of communication but are especially helpful when speaking to a person with dementia. Try these tips to improve your relationships. 6. Slow down. And don't sneak up on me and start talking. Did I tell you I like smiles? Dotty went to Heaven on May 25, 2012.
We found her tips at the Alzheimer’s Reading Room http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/ Dotty had dementia. Her words of wisdom apply to all styles of communication but are especially helpful when speaking to a person with dementia. Try these tips to improve your relationships. 3. Instead of getting all bent out of shape when I do something that seems perfectly normal to me, and perfectly nutty to you, why not just smile at me? It will take the edge off the situation all the way around. Dotty went to Heaven on May 25, 2012.
We found her tips at the Alzheimer’s Reading Room http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/ |
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